The Paddock

The most important thing for you and you wite to remember is the well being of your chidren as they will be the ones effected the most by both of your actions and reactions during this difficult time. There will be many hard decssions to be made in the future but first and foremost always remember how each one effects your children. Try to make most of your decisions before court time and be as agreeable as you can with each other.

Don't lay down. You have rights as well. It's very tough but there is light at the end of the tunnel. Keep the kids in mind and try your best to be civil when they are around.

Best advice for both of you is font lt emotions affect descions. It sounds you both want out. Sit down with each other and sort out all personal belongingsbyou have collected. Dont be emotional, both need to have give and take. Both need to remember you both need to be a part of kids lives. Courts and lawyers and persitant fighting will not make life better for you or your kids. Dont be vindictive or bitter

As for you personally, just remind yourself its better to be happy then it is to spend a lifetime unhappy. Your kids will be happier if both parents are happy. Evdryone changes as the age. Sometimes the person we are married to today is not the person we married years ago.

Thats a great beginning for the end of a marriage. The most important things are your children and the your future. Some people say"Go out and find someone new right away" but I suggest you wait until the pain of the divorce subsides a good deal then if you just happen to meet someone thats great but dont go out looking for someone because in many cases you "settle" for the 1st women who shows interest and settling isnt as good as finding one that fits what you find special. Goodluck and God bless.

Just remember... you don't need a wife to be a great dad. Best of luck to all of you... I hope this turns out to be a blessing in disguise.

Been through this once myself, a long, long time ago.
kriticalkat and jawjacker both have it right. Every situation like this is different, even though many are similiar. Be as amicable as possible, dissolve your joint assets as fairly as you can, and always place the kids above everything else. You're still their Dad, and she is and will always be their Mother. Be mindful & respectful of that, always, no matter how she acts or what she says. And just because you both have grown apart, remember that at one time you were in love with each other, so be as civil and respectful as you can be.

Divorce is not easy. Neither is being married, but with the right one it's worth every second of the work you have to put into it.

I hope that you both find a peaceful resolution, and peace with one another, and for your children.

I'm not shocked at some of the absolute childish/selfish advice given to this young man. First, if neither of them is a repentant Christian, that is the first problem....marriage is both a blessing and wonderful gift, but also a lot of work. Marriage isn't just about bubbly love and sex, it is more than anything a committment, hence the words 'for better or for worse', we've taught that divorce is okay and nothing to be ashamed of.

Due to our selfish ambitions, we've made a mockery of something God meant to be sacred. To the person saying this could be a blessing in disguise, I feel sorry for you if you truly believe that, it's no blessing, it's tragic......and the biggest tragedy of all.......your poor children.
This will leave a break in their hearts that will never heal, it is THEIR worst nightmare...especially if they are very young. Y'all are pulling out from under their feet everything from security, to them not seeing their parents together with them. It is heart wrenching for those kids, the adults will recover quickly and move on with they're lives, the kids are always going to live with that rip in they're hearts....even at times forced to pick sides. I feel sorry for your kids.

If your divorce hasn't happened yet, I'd recommend a 'GOOD Christian counselor', and pray that God would renew your love for each other, and that y'all realize that marriage is about commitment and work....and not just having some bubbly lovy feeling......both need to learn it's not just about you, it's about your kids and about both of you honoring your vows you made before God.

By the way, I don't disagree with the underlying message here. The crutch of religion just kills me 99% of the time.

Some people can't keep themselves from making bad choices unless threatened with everlasting punishment. It is what it is.

And BTW, you should know better than to fight this battle online. It gains nothing. Let people believe as they wish and deal with their fear of the death as they wish.

The OP: Sometimes people grow apart. Do the best you can to maintain a hate-less relationship with the mother of your children. Be the bigger man and enjoy being free (but sell everything you can because the financial hammer is coming down on you).